or when i am doing other things. or he wants to join in my hobbies. but i want to do some things by myself. he has always been a bit smothering. shall i just go out and do what i want more often?
its ok if i have separate hobbies from my partner? he makes me feel guilty or wierd when i spend time away?
14
Apr
free_angel
April 14, 2010 at 3:03 pm
Tell him his smothering could drive you off for good and you highly suggest he knock it off.
Bob D
April 14, 2010 at 3:08 pm
Have some seperate hobby’s but be very careful. You might want to hint nicely that you need some alone time and the relationshiup will be better becuase of it. Just be very careful where you spend your alone time
The I
April 14, 2010 at 3:47 pm
Some people are just more needy than others. Doesn’t mean it’s okay if it’s driving you crazy, but you may need to look at how much time you’re devoting to your hobbies and see about trying to find some middle ground.
Example: hubby and I have vastly different ideas of what’s fun – I’m into the arts, he’s into hot rods. But I go to a hot rod show or two every year, and he comes with me to a concert of my choosing once or twice a year.
Just doing what you want to do without regard for your partner’s feelings isn’t a good way to build a lasting, mutually beneficial relationship.
harrietpotter1122271428
April 14, 2010 at 4:47 pm
absolutely
it is a good thing to have separate activities from time to time.
once a week my husband plays golf with his friends and I see my girlfriends and we go out to the mall.
tell your partner that makes the relationship more interesting and so you can talk about your respective fun .
don’t let him be so controlling, it is wrong to be so posessive.
good luck
Br1tney23
April 14, 2010 at 4:59 pm
We all need hobbies and it is healthy to get away and separate for a few hours. It sounds like he is really insecure and that is not healthy at all for your relationship. This could lead to problems in the future. You might want to reconsider the relatioship and think about if you really want to be smothered all the time.
Your partner needs to realize that you can’t depend on just one person for happiness but you have to do outside things to make yourself happy as well. Friends and hobbies are beneficial. You need to explain to him that you like to do things that he might not like to do. He is only pushing you away with his smothering.
Encourage him to find something that he likes to do (join a sports team, league, or club). Hopefully, he will find outside interests and won’t be so clingy. If not or if he continues to get overly jealous, you might want to move on.
theoriginalquestmaker
April 14, 2010 at 5:06 pm
Having separate hobbies helps you grow as individuals which in turn helps you bring more to your marriage.
If you have already, try to compromise. Maybe a few things you can do together.