Hi. I am 31, male, single and in reasonably good health…thin and handsome. My problem is I can’t find any single women anywhere, i always ask in usually subtle ways to find out, so that I don’t waste my time pursuing a woman who does not want to be pursued. I even went back to college to meet a woman, been here for 3 years…only 1 date, no 2nd.
I have tried online dating, even paying for a 6 month membership…only 2 women even responded to my rather well thought out emails (I sent out almost 200)…no dates, they just dissappeared.
As a geographer, I understand the world’s population is over 53% male and getting more men by the day! This translates to almost 900 milllion more men than women. In the US, that ratio is not quite so high but it is still not balanced in favor of men. 51% male…only place women are in majorities…nursing homes and historically black universities….neither place is suitable for a young white man can find dates…HBU’s because black women are racist towards white men because of some percieved notion of slaves and owners…plus the black women are obssessed with finding only good black men…ahem Barrack Obama!
I desperately want to meet a woman and get maried, so that I can finally put these thoughts in the ground and live a normal life. I am sorry but I hate being single, becuase i have been single way longer than a good looking man should ever have to be. I grew out of my longings of “playing the field”. I am shy, and have tried counseling but it has not worked well enough to attract women…i don’t have many hobbies, and I live in a small town, with a large undergraduate population that is mostly male, and I dont’ have any friends who have gf’s with single galpals. It usually takes a woman to set a man up with a woman.
Where did all the single women who are desperate and lonely for single men go?
jonathan
May 30, 2010 at 1:22 am
go to clubs with some friends and meet girls there =]
Benino
May 30, 2010 at 1:40 am
Really? Here in the UK and the rest of Europe women outnumber the men…
900 million more men than women? As a geographer, did you study maths?
Think positively and things will work well. You’re only convincing yourself of this.
Grey
May 30, 2010 at 2:17 am
Try picking up some hobbies that you enjoy and finding friends, and maybe dates, through that avenue. That way anyone you get together with is guaranteed to share at least a few of your interests. If you keep looking for women who are “desperate and lonely” you’re going to find the nutcases, whackjobs, gold-diggers, and users. Focus on finding a woman to be your partner- not your other half. Be a whole by yourself, and it’ll be easier.
maj.beachbum
May 30, 2010 at 2:32 am
Dude go to the Ukraine,the Russian provinces,Moldova or anywhere behind the Iron curtain and hook up with some girl that wants to come to America or just get a mail order bride.no matter what you do always get a prenup.
Joe the Destroyer
May 30, 2010 at 3:19 am
First off, if you’re going to do online dating, go to Plenty of Fish (www.plentyoffish.com). I’m not saying this as an advertisement, I’m saying this because paying for a dating site, at least to me, is a waste of money, and that one is free.
Second off, one of the best surefire ways to find single women is to head for more populated areas. You said yourself that you live in a small town, and your chances would be higher if you go to a more populated area.
I’m also not going to tell you to lower your standards, but it could also be that you’re overlooking single girls because they don’t fit the specific ramifications of what you’re looking for. Now this is totally hypothetical: If you live in a small town and you’re looking for AAA class super model, your chances are going to be quite grim. Evaluate what draws you to women and be sure to look out for that.
Best of luck to you. I had a hell of a time finding a girl, too.
athena.bond42
May 30, 2010 at 4:08 am
Your query is interesting. First of all, from what you’ve described, you know exactly why you’re not meeting women You live in a small town with no prospects and you don’t get outside of your circle to meet new people through hobbies or other interests.
If a woman wrote a similar story, she would hear the typical, “prince charming isn’t going to come knocking ln your door…”, line. You may be bright and attractive and have a lot to offer but you don’t get any meaningful exposure by the sounds of it. That’s to say that the people you need to see, meet, or know in order to find a partner are not around.
It’s time to stop listing the reasons why you can’t meet someone and get an action plan in place. If you were looking for a new job, you would not rely on people you knew to hook you up or hope you stumbled upon a “hiring – inquire within” sign.
Internet dating takes awhile. It may be that your thoughtful emails were too thoughtful and appeared that you were trying too hard. You might also want to take a look at your spelling. You likely were contacting smart women (because you’re smart), and spelling is a big deal. Some of the brightest people can’t spell, but it looks bad on paper and unfortunately, what people read is their first impression of you. Words like “dissappeared (mistakenly with the double “s”) and “maried” with only one “r” don’t make a great impression as in your note above.
Also, thoughtful is good, but humor is what attracts women more than anything, before they have met you. You need a hook to keep their interest and it can’t sound too eager or desperate. Men can smell it on women and the same is true for the reverse.
As for that one date that didn’t turn into a second; it was only one date. It’s ot like you had a dozen that didn’t pan out. We all have obstacles to deal with, so if you’re shy, you’ll need to find a way to compensate and that is, making an effort to expose yourself to more people, even if you don’t love the hobby. Maybe you could try it anyway. If you’ve decided that you’re not going to move somewhere where there are more women then you have to work with what you have. I understand your frustration, but complaining about it won’t change the circumstances.
You were in College for three years and had one date. Women aren’t going to ask you out, so that was within your control. So is this. It’s just a matter of what you’re willing to do about it.
I suggest you get back online and make it a focus. If someone doesn’t like your picture, you’re not going to get a note back regardless of what you write. Don’t take it personally. You only need to find one woman who does. Just one. Keep at it. Online dating takes time. Have you thought of joining a gym? You’ll end up looking better too.
I don’t mean to be harsh, but I’m trying to find some solutions for you because all the understanding you have of stats, as a geologist are not going to help your predicament.
It’s unfortunate that you don’t think of being single as having a normal life. You’re still young and should take the time you need to find someone right. In the meantime you’re not abnormal because you haven’t found her. It’s also an insult to those out there who treasure love and healthy relationships enough, not to settle.
You can do this. Change your focus and become more about finding solutions as opposed to reasons why you’re still single.
Would you consider moving? Could you use a bit of a makeover? Do you practice good hygiene? Why did you ask so few women out on dates in school?
For the first time in the U.S. there are more single women than married women. Did you know that? There out there. Go get’ em.